In 2019, I had eight months of sobriety and had just completed a 60-day intensive outpatient program for alcoholism. I was unemployed and applying for a position with the Maryland Public School System. Part of the onboarding required answering a yes-or-no question: Do you have a history of substance or alcohol abuse?
That one question brought back the shame and fear of my past. Just months earlier, I had been driven to the hospital for the second time in one day — sick, hopeless, and broken. That day, I finally said the words – I need help.
I had fought hard for my recovery, but I still feared what disclosure might cost me. I checked “no.” The doctor reviewing my form saw my past hospitalizations and called me out. I admitted my dishonesty and explained my fear of stigma. Thankfully, my continuing care program was able to provide documentation of my recovery, and I was hired—first on a 90-day trial.
That was over six years ago. I’ve remained in the same role, received positive evaluations every year, and become a valued member of the staff. I lead with honesty, with integrity, and with heart. The person I am today is not the person I was when I walked into that hospital in 2018. I’m proud to say that this past June, I celebrated seven years of continuous sobriety.
A 12-step fellowship transformed my life beyond just not drinking—it gave me true recovery. But I still wonder: if I hadn’t gone through formal treatment, would a letter from a sponsor have been enough? Would I have been believed? What if I apply for another job in the future? Will I have to check “yes” again? Even after 8 years sober? 10 years? 20? When is it “long enough” for the world to stop asking me to explain who I used to be — and start seeing who I’ve become?
Stigma around alcoholism is real. It nearly cost me a job. It almost convinced me that my truth was something to hide. But today, I speak it out loud — because I know I’m not alone.
Today, I check yes for recovery—and no for stigma.
