Turning Pain into Purpose

My name is Stacey, and I’m an alcoholic and an addict. I’m also a mom, a child of God, and so much more. I’ve felt both the pain of addiction and the stigma that follows it—especially within the Harford County Family Court system.

Three years ago, my world exploded. My daughter accused my ex-husband of molesting her, and when the police got involved, another of my children disclosed abuse as well. I was devastated. I hadn’t protected them—and it happened not only during my addiction, but long after I got sober.

I have a sponsor, I go to meetings, and I trust my Higher Power. But when they say “more will be revealed,” they mean it. My ex, a teacher and church leader, was never prosecuted. Instead, I was accused of making up my daughter’s illness and pulling her out of school. When I refused to sign CPS papers to remove her “temporarily,” I was served with an emergency petition and had one business day to find a lawyer. None were available, so I stood in court with a public defender, accused of things I’d done 13 years earlier when I was drunk—as if they were happening now.

During that time, I was stalked, our home was broken into, and my daughter and I lived in fear. She was eventually hospitalized for her eating disorder, then placed in foster care. I was treated as guilty until proven innocent, forced through endless drug tests, therapy sessions, and home visits. I drained my savings and retirement to prove I was sober and sane.

I heard the worst things a parent can hear—and was then accused of lying. The court saw me only as an addict who couldn’t parent. The system that should have protected us instead tore us apart.

Today, I still struggle with anger and grief, but I no longer hide my story. Secrets keep us sick. If sharing mine helps even one person feel less alone, it turns pain into purpose—and keeps me grounded in hope and gratitude that things are different today.